💌 Dear Juliette: "Why Do I Attract Broken People?"

💌 Dear Juliette:

"Why Do I Attract Broken People?"

Dear Dating Blueprint,
I don’t know what it is, but I keep attracting emotionally unavailable, wounded, hot mess express types. They open up, trauma-dump, say “you’re the only one who gets me,” and then vanish once I start getting attached.
What am I doing wrong? Why do I attract broken people?
– 🧲 Magnet for Messes

Dear Magnet,
Oh, honey — if dating were Target, you'd be stuck in aisle 4 of Emotional Clearance, accidentally picking up projects instead of partners.

Let’s clear something up right now:
💡 You’re not broken.
💡 You’re not unlucky.
💡 But you might be unconsciously wired to attract people who need fixing.

And guess what? That’s not love.
That’s a coping mechanism disguised as chemistry.

🧠 Here’s the Real Tea (Psychology Edition)

When you consistently attract emotionally messy or unavailable people, it usually ties back to your own relationship programming:

• You grew up being the peacekeeper, the helper, the “fixer”

• You learned that love = sacrifice and attention = validation

• Chaos feels familiar, and stable love feels… boring?

So your heart goes, “Let me help him,” when it should be saying, “Let me help myself.”

🚩 Signs You’re Dating the Damaged — Not the Devoted:

✅ He trauma-dumps on the first date but never asks about you
✅ He’s “not ready for a relationship,” but loves your emotional support
✅ You feel more like his life coach than his love interest
✅ You’re exhausted instead of excited after texting
✅ You think “If I just love him right, he’ll change”

Sound familiar?

That’s not a partner. That’s a healing hobby with nice eyes.

💡 Why You Attract Them (Without Meaning To)

You may be radiating “safe space” energy, which is beautiful, but predators of peace sniff that out fast. They’re drawn to your light, your empathy, your calm… and they want to absorb it without offering any of their own.

But remember this:
You’re not a hospital. You’re not a therapist. You’re not a rehab center.
You’re a whole, worthy, radiant human being looking for someone who’s done their own healing.

🛠️ So… What Do I Do?

1. Raise your intake standards

If someone comes in too hot, too fast, and too emotionally chaotic, hit the pause button.
You are not the rescue squad. Let people show stability over time.

2. Ask early questions like:

• “What does a healthy relationship look like to you?”

• “How do you usually handle conflict?”

• “Have you been in therapy or done personal growth work?”

Not romantic? Maybe.
But it’ll save you six months of free emotional labor.

3. Heal your own “fixer” instinct

Sometimes we seek people to save… because saving others distracts us from saving ourselves. Harsh but true.
Flip it. Pour that care back into YOU.

💘 Final Word, Love:

You don’t attract broken people because you're doomed.
You attract them because you haven't learned to protect your peace like the sacred thing it is.

When you start choosing partners based on their emotional wholeness — not their need for repair — your entire love life upgrades.

The right one won't feel like a project.
They’ll feel like peace. Like growth. Like joy.

And you deserve that kind of love every day of the week.

🖤 – Dating Blueprint

ASK JULIETTE